I have a pretty good ear for music and can generally play anything I hear, on the keyboard, right along with the performer. I've jammed with the best of 'em; from Eric Clapton to BB King. If I hear the blues, I can play it in the right key, every time; no exceptions.
What's the secret to being able to jam with any artist? It's really quite simple; even dummies can do it (like me). Now, I'll teach you; a very smart person. I hope you have a piano or some sort of keyboard, so you can take advantage of your new found skill; if not, go out and buy one. You can afford it; the economy's booming again?
Okay, so you're still short on cash. Big deal; make the purchase, anyway. A lifetime of playing the blues is worth the investment. If you're fortunate enough to have already acquired that keyboard; when you still had money; congratulations. You're one step closer to becoming a semi-professional musician.
For the purposes of this lesson, I'm only going to deal with the white keys on the piano; I'm not racist; I love the black keys, too; however, I don't want to throw out too much information here and confuse you. I want to keep this simple, so even the dummies can figure it out.
As you know, there are seven white keys in every octave (and five black keys). If you start out at middle C (the key just to the left of the two black keys), and work your way up the scale, you'll find D...E...F...G...A...B. Then it starts all over again with C. In case you were wondering what a DEFGAB is; I don't know, either. I saw a comedy program on HBO a while back; something about "Def Comedy", but that has nothing to do with playing the blues. Also, if you don't know what an octave is, ask someone to explain it to you. Basically, it's the clump of keys on the piano that have seven white keys and five black keys! Okay?
You may ask why I'm not starting in alphabetical order (A...B...C...D...E...F...G). Good question. The reason: It's more confusing (for me) to find A on the piano. It's over by the three black keys, to the left of C, so it's kind of hard to spot. Okay?
Now, here's the deal. Every blues song in the world has the same "key structure" - the same combination of notes that blend in perfectly; always. There are five notes in every key that blend in. That leaves seven that don't blend in. If you hit one of those seven, you'll end up with something referred to as, "discord"; in other words, it sounds like Roseanne Arnold singing the National Anthem. If you hit the other five notes, it sounds like you're a part of the band. Congratulations. When's your next gig?
Since learning seven different key structures in one blog may be difficult for someone with no musical background; relax. I'm only going to cover the key of C today. Can you dig it? Who wants to play the blues in the key of C? You do? You're in luck.
Ideally, I'd have a diagram of the piano keys for you to refer to as I'm explaining this stuff to you; but I don't. However, with the information I'm going to give, you'll be able to figure it out, sooner or later; especially if you get someone with a few piano lessons under their belt to help you; if need be.
Here are the FIVE NOTES IN THE KEY OF C:
C...D#...F...G...A#
Now go out and play Howlin' Wolf's "I Ain't Superstitious" (Track 2 THE LONDON HOWLIN' WOLF SESSIONS). You'll love it.
The next lesson: Blues piano in the key of D.
In the meantime, practice the key of C, take two aspirin, and call me in the morning.
If you haven't already bought my book, Life Under the Corporate Microscope, here's your chance (It has nothing to do with playing the blues, but it's still highly entertaining). Just head on over to Amazon and grab a few cases to give to friends and family. It's a great entertainment value for the money.
http://bit.ly/b2pBY
I just completed another book, but it's still in the pre-publication phase; but look for it soon. It's called St Louis Cardinals IQ: The Ultimate Test of True Fandom (Volume 1)
From business to baseball to the blues; I do it all; sort of.
Showing posts with label larry underwood. Show all posts
Showing posts with label larry underwood. Show all posts
Sunday, April 4, 2010
Thursday, January 7, 2010
The Evolution of the Corporate Vice President
The Corporate Vice President, or Corpus Evictus-cya, has a strange evolutionary history. Its appearance on our planet began about 20 years ago, although the exact date is still unknown. Records back in those days were somewhat informal, and largely incomplete. However, one thing is clear: The species began as what many believe to be real, live, human beings, before evolving into the familiar jellyfish we all know in today's mutated version. But how did it get here? Is it going to continue evolving; perhaps grow a spine; perhaps have a useful purpose in Corporate America? Don't count on it.
However, understanding the evolutionary history of the Corpus Evictus-cya will help us prepare for whatever it has in store for future generations of backstabbing victims. With enough knowledge, perhaps our children's children will live in some better world; with no budget deficits, bailouts or government subsidies. We can only hope.
For the purposes of this particular study, the "Corporate Vice President" will simply be referred to as the "CVP"; those they undermine will be referred to as "us", or "we"; the hard working business people in Corporate America who try to be productive in our jobs; and who try to engage employees in being productive, as well, with no hidden agendas. Despite the insidious nature of the CVP, we aren't on the verge of extinction - yet. Strangely enough, we outnumber CVPs by a wide margin, although they possess the lethal backstabbing capabilities which can be unleashed at any moment; preparation is our best defense.
The most often asked question I've encountered is simply, "Where did they come from; why are they here?" From my research, it appears the CVP originated sometime around the end of the Reagan Administration, although there is no direct link between politics and Corporate America, as far as the early stages of CVP development is concerned. Early forms of CVP appeared friendly; even useful. They demonstrated human characteristics, seemed to have a logical thought process, and showed no signs of malice. Certainly, they possessed tremendous strength, and were capable of killing us at the drop of a hat; but they were good-natured and friendly; they liked us and wanted us to continue our evolutionary journey, just as much as we wanted to keep going. It seemed to be a good balance of nature.
Then, sometime in the early '90s, something happened to our common sense; it seemed to go away. It all started with the legal system; wrongful termination lawsuits started proliferating, along with sexual harrasment lawsuits; then, it seemed like everyone was being discriminated against, in one way or another. This was good news for the attorneys in America; and whatever is good news for attorneys means bad news for the vast majority of honest, hard-working people. Even businesses that had good intentions were becoming victimized by the malicious attorneys looking to score a jackpot for their scumbag clients; soon, most big businesses in Corporate America were being run in a climate of fear and loathing; and that's when the CVPs began losing their "human" characteristics; early forms of CVP resembled rodent-like animals in the wild - the badger and the weasel were the most common forms of CVP; they were dangerous but were so hostile, or slovenly that they could be warded off with a clever approach. Some forms of CVP were amusing, but you could tell that they had devious intentions by listening to their diatribes; they spoke in riddles; corporate speak. It sounded good, but the recipients knew it was for show.
The CVP knew the game had long since evolved into a matter of "kill or be killed"; they knew their best chance for survival with the CEOs of Corporate America was to stay out of harm's way, while throwing others under the bus. That's when their spines disappeared; and that's when they became even more lethal - they lulled their victims into a false sense of security by disappearing into their cubicles, and slithering around the corporate office, trying to avoid any contact with the CEOs or their agents of doom - the second or third in command.
Of course, eventually, the CVPs had to come out of hiding and make their presense felt with those they "supervise"; to justify their existence, they knew they had to start creating problems - which only they could fix. The problems, were of course, "us". "We" were somehow screwing something or other up; it didn't matter if the problems were fictitious; all that mattered was the problems needed to be addressed.
When "addressing" the problems; or the "issues"; the CVP's lack of a spine comes in handy; it enables them to deal with all that stress from the CEOs without sustaining any damage to their organs; and because they're so flexible, they fit almost anywhere, and are easy to care for. They never complain; and they never say anything that will cause the CEOs any aggravation. In short, they've evolved into the perfect life form for survival in Corporate America.
Is it any wonder we're in the shape we're in today? The solution is simple; but who's going to do it? Who's going to get rid of the spineless jellyfish known as the Corporate Vice President? It's going to take the enlightened CEO with enough sense to realize this species should be extinct by now; they're no longer needed.
In fact, if the CEOs don't realize this very soon, they may find themselves becoming extinct, as well.
For my first hand account of life in Corporate America, buy my book: Life Under the Corporate Microscope on Amazon: http://bit.ly/b2pBY or visit my author's webpage: www.outskirtspress.com/LarryUnderwood
However, understanding the evolutionary history of the Corpus Evictus-cya will help us prepare for whatever it has in store for future generations of backstabbing victims. With enough knowledge, perhaps our children's children will live in some better world; with no budget deficits, bailouts or government subsidies. We can only hope.
For the purposes of this particular study, the "Corporate Vice President" will simply be referred to as the "CVP"; those they undermine will be referred to as "us", or "we"; the hard working business people in Corporate America who try to be productive in our jobs; and who try to engage employees in being productive, as well, with no hidden agendas. Despite the insidious nature of the CVP, we aren't on the verge of extinction - yet. Strangely enough, we outnumber CVPs by a wide margin, although they possess the lethal backstabbing capabilities which can be unleashed at any moment; preparation is our best defense.
The most often asked question I've encountered is simply, "Where did they come from; why are they here?" From my research, it appears the CVP originated sometime around the end of the Reagan Administration, although there is no direct link between politics and Corporate America, as far as the early stages of CVP development is concerned. Early forms of CVP appeared friendly; even useful. They demonstrated human characteristics, seemed to have a logical thought process, and showed no signs of malice. Certainly, they possessed tremendous strength, and were capable of killing us at the drop of a hat; but they were good-natured and friendly; they liked us and wanted us to continue our evolutionary journey, just as much as we wanted to keep going. It seemed to be a good balance of nature.
Then, sometime in the early '90s, something happened to our common sense; it seemed to go away. It all started with the legal system; wrongful termination lawsuits started proliferating, along with sexual harrasment lawsuits; then, it seemed like everyone was being discriminated against, in one way or another. This was good news for the attorneys in America; and whatever is good news for attorneys means bad news for the vast majority of honest, hard-working people. Even businesses that had good intentions were becoming victimized by the malicious attorneys looking to score a jackpot for their scumbag clients; soon, most big businesses in Corporate America were being run in a climate of fear and loathing; and that's when the CVPs began losing their "human" characteristics; early forms of CVP resembled rodent-like animals in the wild - the badger and the weasel were the most common forms of CVP; they were dangerous but were so hostile, or slovenly that they could be warded off with a clever approach. Some forms of CVP were amusing, but you could tell that they had devious intentions by listening to their diatribes; they spoke in riddles; corporate speak. It sounded good, but the recipients knew it was for show.
The CVP knew the game had long since evolved into a matter of "kill or be killed"; they knew their best chance for survival with the CEOs of Corporate America was to stay out of harm's way, while throwing others under the bus. That's when their spines disappeared; and that's when they became even more lethal - they lulled their victims into a false sense of security by disappearing into their cubicles, and slithering around the corporate office, trying to avoid any contact with the CEOs or their agents of doom - the second or third in command.
Of course, eventually, the CVPs had to come out of hiding and make their presense felt with those they "supervise"; to justify their existence, they knew they had to start creating problems - which only they could fix. The problems, were of course, "us". "We" were somehow screwing something or other up; it didn't matter if the problems were fictitious; all that mattered was the problems needed to be addressed.
When "addressing" the problems; or the "issues"; the CVP's lack of a spine comes in handy; it enables them to deal with all that stress from the CEOs without sustaining any damage to their organs; and because they're so flexible, they fit almost anywhere, and are easy to care for. They never complain; and they never say anything that will cause the CEOs any aggravation. In short, they've evolved into the perfect life form for survival in Corporate America.
Is it any wonder we're in the shape we're in today? The solution is simple; but who's going to do it? Who's going to get rid of the spineless jellyfish known as the Corporate Vice President? It's going to take the enlightened CEO with enough sense to realize this species should be extinct by now; they're no longer needed.
In fact, if the CEOs don't realize this very soon, they may find themselves becoming extinct, as well.
For my first hand account of life in Corporate America, buy my book: Life Under the Corporate Microscope on Amazon: http://bit.ly/b2pBY or visit my author's webpage: www.outskirtspress.com/LarryUnderwood
Friday, October 16, 2009
Wading Through the Jungle of Amazon
I wrote a book, Life Under the Corporate Microscope, chronicling my 26 year career with the car rental giant, Enterprise. It's been selling at a pretty good pace on Amazon, although not what I envisioned when I first published it early this year.
I figured every living ex-employee and every living current employee (redundant, eh?) would want a copy (or 2...or 3) to call their very own. Then reality set it. Sure, it's getting read by a lot of people, but it's been surprisingly "shared" by a fairly large circle of cronies. Book sharing? I suppose in this economy, saving a few bucks is important...
Just when I was on the verge of abandoning my marketing efforts, I've noticed a sharp spike in sales. I suppose "word of mouth" is helping out, or maybe it's all those reviews I've done on Amazon over the past several months. I read a lot; and I review a lot.
According to the head of Outskirts Press, my self-publisher (the cost effective way to go)---a guy by the name of Brent Sampson---it you really want your book to be a best-seller on Amazon, you'd better get busy doing those reviews...lots of 'em. Currently, I'm closing in on the 300 review plateau...
When people log on to Amazon to check out the latest bestseller, they'll more than likely see a review from me, Uncle Larry. If they like what I've written in the review section, they might be even tempted to actually buy one of my masterpieces. It really is good; I just polished off another reading session last night, and I think I'm appreciating its brilliance more with time (why, I don't know).
Of course, another marketing ploy is becoming a credible authority in the world of the internet. I've been hooked on Twitter for six months now and I've got a base of "followers" over 4000 now. By engaging in real time conversation with these folks, I'm building credibility...and some of those fellow Twitter-ers...have been checking out this book. Very clever, indeed...
Now, I've got to accomplish two missions if I'm going to keep the sales momentum going...
NUMBER 1: I need the public to head over to Amazon buy my book; and very importantly post a 5 star review for my wonderful book. For your safety and convenience, here's the direct link to get you over there: http://bit.ly/b2pBY
NUMBER 2: I need the public to head over to Amazon and read my stellar reviews as well. At the conclusion of my enlightening and engaging review, when asked if my review was helpful...vote YES! I guarantee that review was helpful; take my word for it---more help from me to you.
Thanks for visiting. I'll return again when I have something relevent to post...
Now go buy a (another) copy of my book...Everybody needs at least 5 or 6...They make great stocking stuffers and whatnot...
Still not convinced? Go to my Author's Web-Page: http://www.outskirtspress.com/LarryUnderwood
I figured every living ex-employee and every living current employee (redundant, eh?) would want a copy (or 2...or 3) to call their very own. Then reality set it. Sure, it's getting read by a lot of people, but it's been surprisingly "shared" by a fairly large circle of cronies. Book sharing? I suppose in this economy, saving a few bucks is important...
Just when I was on the verge of abandoning my marketing efforts, I've noticed a sharp spike in sales. I suppose "word of mouth" is helping out, or maybe it's all those reviews I've done on Amazon over the past several months. I read a lot; and I review a lot.
According to the head of Outskirts Press, my self-publisher (the cost effective way to go)---a guy by the name of Brent Sampson---it you really want your book to be a best-seller on Amazon, you'd better get busy doing those reviews...lots of 'em. Currently, I'm closing in on the 300 review plateau...
When people log on to Amazon to check out the latest bestseller, they'll more than likely see a review from me, Uncle Larry. If they like what I've written in the review section, they might be even tempted to actually buy one of my masterpieces. It really is good; I just polished off another reading session last night, and I think I'm appreciating its brilliance more with time (why, I don't know).
Of course, another marketing ploy is becoming a credible authority in the world of the internet. I've been hooked on Twitter for six months now and I've got a base of "followers" over 4000 now. By engaging in real time conversation with these folks, I'm building credibility...and some of those fellow Twitter-ers...have been checking out this book. Very clever, indeed...
Now, I've got to accomplish two missions if I'm going to keep the sales momentum going...
NUMBER 1: I need the public to head over to Amazon buy my book; and very importantly post a 5 star review for my wonderful book. For your safety and convenience, here's the direct link to get you over there: http://bit.ly/b2pBY
NUMBER 2: I need the public to head over to Amazon and read my stellar reviews as well. At the conclusion of my enlightening and engaging review, when asked if my review was helpful...vote YES! I guarantee that review was helpful; take my word for it---more help from me to you.
Thanks for visiting. I'll return again when I have something relevent to post...
Now go buy a (another) copy of my book...Everybody needs at least 5 or 6...They make great stocking stuffers and whatnot...
Still not convinced? Go to my Author's Web-Page: http://www.outskirtspress.com/LarryUnderwood
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