After pulling off that improbable - actually, impossible - World Series triumph over the Texas Rangers a couple of months ago, the St Louis Cardinals will enter the 2012 season with a new manager - Mike Matheny - whose biggest challenge will be taking over a team that no longer has the Game's Greatest Player on its roster. The good news for the Cardinals' front office: The Game's Greatest Player is no longer on the payroll.
Certainly, losing a guy who usually drives in well over 100 runs each year is going to put pressure on the new lineup; but the Cards just signed 34-year old outfielder Carlos Beltran to a two-year-$26 million deal; an amount roughly one-tenth as much as the ten-year contract the Angels negotiated with King Albert Pujols - The Game's Greatest Player. Maybe Angels owner Artie Moreno can afford to shell out over a quarter of a billion bucks to a player who will more than likely be a DH or bench player in another five years or so.
The Cardinals offered a measley $210 million-10-year deal to the former Cardinals icon. What an insult. What were they thinking? Hmm. Maybe they were thinking/hoping he'd turn it down, figuring they could spend the money on other items, such as moderately-priced free-agents like Carlos Beltran. Or contract extensions on guys like David Freese and Adam Wainwright, among others. There are lots of possibilities for the frugal front office to keep the roster stocked with good, young ballplayers, in lieu of overpriced aging icons.
Obviously, with Pujols no longer a part of the Cardinals' lineup heading into the 2012 season, the challenge of repeating as World Champions becomes all the more difficult. Although the Redbirds have now won eleven titles - the most of any NL team - the franchise has never won back-to-back Fall Classics. In fact, the last NL team to accomplish the feat was the fabled Big Red Machine - the Cincinnati Reds, in 1975 and 1976. Prior to that, the New York Giants defeated Babe Ruth's Yankees in 1921 and 1922, before the Bambino and Company took care of business in 1923. Strangely enough, those lovable losers - the Chicago Cubs - were at one time hard-core winners, with back-to-back World Championships in 1907 and 1908. Great memories, eh Cubs fans? Sorry.
So, what are the chances of repeating for the Redbirds? Past history suggests it's unlikely. Losing the services of Albert Pujols suggests it's even more unlikely. Although the current roster is loaded with talent, it has also been injury-prone. Gambling on an aging player's ability to stay injury-free for an entire season is a risky proposition; but let's face it, not gambling on oft-injured free-agents like Rafael Furcal and Carlos Beltran has no upside potential. If they manage to stay healthy and play in 140 or more games in '12, that would bode well for the Redbirds' chances of winning back-to-back World Series titles. It wouldn't hurt if the Cards could also have the services of David Freese for an entire, injury-free season. Wow.
Every time I think of Freese, I think of Game 6 - the most miraculous victory in World Series history. The great sportswriter, Jason Stark, supplied us with some fascinating tid-bits of information about Game 6, in case anyone doubted the extent of the miracles that happened in that contest:
* The Cardinals trailed in that game five different times before finally winning it. No team in World Series history had ever done that. The Cardinals - in 19,387 regular season games - had never won a game after trailing five different times. Never.
* In the previous 1327 post season games played, no team had ever scored in the 8th, 9th, 10th, and 11th innings. Of course, in the 9th inning, St Louis was down to its last strike before extending the game with Freese's two-run game-tying triple. Likewise, they were down to their last strike in the 10th inning before Lance Berkman's game-tying single plated a jubilant, skipping Jon Jay. The last time any team was in that same situation was in the '86 World Series - the Miracle Mets in Game 6 - when the Red Sox managed to snatch defeat from the jaws of victory, to perpetuate the Curse of the Bambino.
Of course, the Redbirds' unlikely post season berth resulted from an amazing stretch run, combined with the total collapse of the team they were pursuing - the Atlanta Braves. With just five games left to play, the Cards still trailed the Braves by three games. Incredibly, the Braves lost all five of those games while the Cards won four out of five. How often is that sort of thing going to happen?
It's interesting to note, the 1985 Cardinals won 101 regular season games, and never lost a game entering the 9th inning with a lead; that is, until Game 6 of the World Series. The 2011 Cardinals won just 90 regular season games, losing eleven games when they held a 9th inning or later lead. In other words, they should have won 101 games last season.
Had the Cardinals actually won 101 games last season, perhaps their five-game NLDS conquest of the Phillies wouldn't have been so shocking. Actually, the way they won Game 2 was quite shocking. Staked to a 4 - 0 lead, Phillies pitcher Cliff Lee wound up on the losing end of a 5 - 4 decision. In his career, Cliff Lee is now 94 - 2 whenever he's ahead by four or more runs. Strangely enough, the winning pitcher on both occasions was Octavial Dotel.
I don't know if all those miracles that happened for the Cardinals in 2011 will somehow balance out against them in some sort of weird cosmic-way in 2012. I always feel slightly uncomfortable whenever so-called experts predict St Louis to fare well in anything; they're usually wrong. As luck would have it, three analysts on the MLB Network - Larry Bowa, Dave Valle, and Mitch "Wild Thing" Williams unanimously picked the reshuffled Cards to win the NL Central in 2012.
It may be unrealistic to expect another trip to the World Series for the Cardinals in 2012, but after last year's non-stop barrage of miracles, it actually may be unrealistic for Cards' fans to expect anything less than another World Series championship. For those keeping score at home, that would be 12 in '12...
http://www.amazon.com/St-Louis-Cardinals-IQ-Ultimate/dp/0983792259/ref=cm_pdp_books_itm_title_5
Thursday, December 22, 2011
Sunday, December 18, 2011
Will World Series MVP Freese Stay Hot in 2012?
Recently, MLB Network's analytics-enamored guru, Brian Kenny proclaimed on his "Clubhouse Confidential" program that being named the World Series MVP does not necessarily mean that player will go on to have a stellar follow-up season. As an example, he cited the 2011 campaign which 2010 World Series MVP, Edgar Renteria suffered through - hitting just .251 in an injury-riddled 96 games.
Ironically, David Freese - 2011's World Series MVP - has yet to play an entire season without getting banged up himself. Will 2012 be the year Freese stays hot for a full 162 games? If he can stay healthy, I like his odds, regardless of how other World Series MVPs fared in their follow-up seasons.
Curiosity got the better of me, so I thought I'd dig deeper - all the way back to 1982, when Cardinals catcher Darrell Porter led St Louis to its first World Series title since 1967. Porter was one of three catchers since his '82 heroics to take home the MVP honors - Rick Dempsey (1983) and Pat Borders (1992) were the other two. None of the three backstops set the world on fire in their follow-up seasons, although Porter's .262 batting average in '83 was his highest mark in his five seasons with the Redbirds.
Pitching has dominated the MVP selections over the years since '82 - 14 hurlers were chosen - and all but four had stellar performances the following seasons. The 2001 co-MVPs for the World Series champion Arizona Diamondbacks - Randy Johnson and Curt Schilling - won 24 and 23 games, respectively, in 2002. They were in good company - Frank Viola, Orel Hershiser, Dave Stewart, Jose Rijo, Jack Morris, Tom Glavine, John Wetteland, and Mariano Rivera - proved their World Series domination was no fluke; all had tremendous seasons the very next year. Three had "so-so" seasons as a follow-up - Livan Hernandez, Josh Beckett, and Cole Hamels - and just one pitcher had what could be termed "awful" in his next season - Bret Saberhagen, who went 7-12 in 1986 for the World Champion Kansas City Royals.
Third basemen have taken the World Series MVP honors five times since '82 - shortstops four times - outfielders three times - along with one DH - future Hall of Famer, Paul Molitor. Strangely enough, there haven't been any first basemen selected, although Joe Carter's 1993 World Series decisive Game Six home run ended things in dramatic fashion, giving Toronto its second straight championship.
Of the position players who were World Series MVPs, four were bitten by the injury bug the next season - Renteria, David Eckstein, Troy Glaus, and Mike Lowell - and four had sensational seasons as an encore - Jermaine Dye (.315-44-120), Manny Ramirez (.292-45-144), Derek Jeter (.311-110 runs scored), and Molitor, who hit .341 in the strike-shortened '94 season.
Getting back to David Freese, who had the greatest overall post season in history - featuring his record-setting 21 RBIs in 18 games - I think it's safe to say he'll prove that performance was no fluke. It's also safe to say - with Albert Pujols' departure - the Cardinals will be counting on their third baseman to stay healthy and pick up where he left off in October. If they're planning a return engagement to the Fall Classic, the Redbirds will absolutely need a healthy David Freese to help lead them back to the Promised Land.
Ironically, David Freese - 2011's World Series MVP - has yet to play an entire season without getting banged up himself. Will 2012 be the year Freese stays hot for a full 162 games? If he can stay healthy, I like his odds, regardless of how other World Series MVPs fared in their follow-up seasons.
Curiosity got the better of me, so I thought I'd dig deeper - all the way back to 1982, when Cardinals catcher Darrell Porter led St Louis to its first World Series title since 1967. Porter was one of three catchers since his '82 heroics to take home the MVP honors - Rick Dempsey (1983) and Pat Borders (1992) were the other two. None of the three backstops set the world on fire in their follow-up seasons, although Porter's .262 batting average in '83 was his highest mark in his five seasons with the Redbirds.
Pitching has dominated the MVP selections over the years since '82 - 14 hurlers were chosen - and all but four had stellar performances the following seasons. The 2001 co-MVPs for the World Series champion Arizona Diamondbacks - Randy Johnson and Curt Schilling - won 24 and 23 games, respectively, in 2002. They were in good company - Frank Viola, Orel Hershiser, Dave Stewart, Jose Rijo, Jack Morris, Tom Glavine, John Wetteland, and Mariano Rivera - proved their World Series domination was no fluke; all had tremendous seasons the very next year. Three had "so-so" seasons as a follow-up - Livan Hernandez, Josh Beckett, and Cole Hamels - and just one pitcher had what could be termed "awful" in his next season - Bret Saberhagen, who went 7-12 in 1986 for the World Champion Kansas City Royals.
Third basemen have taken the World Series MVP honors five times since '82 - shortstops four times - outfielders three times - along with one DH - future Hall of Famer, Paul Molitor. Strangely enough, there haven't been any first basemen selected, although Joe Carter's 1993 World Series decisive Game Six home run ended things in dramatic fashion, giving Toronto its second straight championship.
Of the position players who were World Series MVPs, four were bitten by the injury bug the next season - Renteria, David Eckstein, Troy Glaus, and Mike Lowell - and four had sensational seasons as an encore - Jermaine Dye (.315-44-120), Manny Ramirez (.292-45-144), Derek Jeter (.311-110 runs scored), and Molitor, who hit .341 in the strike-shortened '94 season.
Getting back to David Freese, who had the greatest overall post season in history - featuring his record-setting 21 RBIs in 18 games - I think it's safe to say he'll prove that performance was no fluke. It's also safe to say - with Albert Pujols' departure - the Cardinals will be counting on their third baseman to stay healthy and pick up where he left off in October. If they're planning a return engagement to the Fall Classic, the Redbirds will absolutely need a healthy David Freese to help lead them back to the Promised Land.
Saturday, December 10, 2011
God: "Glitch" Sends Pujols to Angels
A source close to God has informed the MLB Network early Tuesday morning that devout slugger Albert Pujols' decision to move to the Los Angeles/Anaheim/California Angels resulted from a "communication mixup" between the Lord and the former 11 year St Louis Cardinals icon.
Attempting to explain the series of events that led King Albert to the Halos, the source set the record straight: "Albert Pujols has been asking God for a lot of guidance lately, and the increased volume of prayers has put a strain on the Lord's ability to give His usual top-notch advice. God decided to delegate the responsibilites to a special task force committee comprised of several former major league players who could offer the best possible guidance."
The exact identity of the committee members was not disclosed, although the source confirmed they were all dead and residing in Heaven.
"Unfortunately, when God relayed the plan to Mr Pujols, a communications glitch occurred."
Apparently, when God told Pujols he would be getting "help from the angels", Albert thought He was referring to the AL West franchise, who had coincidentally contacted the slugger about moving out west anyway.
Reportedly, God was embarrassed by the mixup, saying he had "completely forgotten" about the franchise he had helped win the World Series in 2002.
"God wants to let everyone know He usually doesn't resort to Divine Intervention in deciding sporting events," then adding with a chuckle, "He never really liked Barry Bonds."
Attempting to explain the series of events that led King Albert to the Halos, the source set the record straight: "Albert Pujols has been asking God for a lot of guidance lately, and the increased volume of prayers has put a strain on the Lord's ability to give His usual top-notch advice. God decided to delegate the responsibilites to a special task force committee comprised of several former major league players who could offer the best possible guidance."
The exact identity of the committee members was not disclosed, although the source confirmed they were all dead and residing in Heaven.
"Unfortunately, when God relayed the plan to Mr Pujols, a communications glitch occurred."
Apparently, when God told Pujols he would be getting "help from the angels", Albert thought He was referring to the AL West franchise, who had coincidentally contacted the slugger about moving out west anyway.
Reportedly, God was embarrassed by the mixup, saying he had "completely forgotten" about the franchise he had helped win the World Series in 2002.
"God wants to let everyone know He usually doesn't resort to Divine Intervention in deciding sporting events," then adding with a chuckle, "He never really liked Barry Bonds."
Thursday, November 24, 2011
Who Else Hates Chris Rose?
I'll admit it...When the Cardinals are having a lousy season, I can't stand watching anything on television that is going to remind me of that fact. Usually, that means staying clear of the likes of ESPN - especially the MLB Network - after all, baseball is their only topic of discussion, and sooner or later, they're going to talk about how horrible the Cards are playing. I don't need to hear it!
On the other hand, when the Cardinals are playing well, and are in contention, I'll stay glued to MLB to savor my favorite team's success - although there are times certain analysts don't seem to give the Redbirds credit for being as good as they really are.
For the most part, I like those guys; most of them either played the game with a good degree of success for a long time (Larry Bowa, Harold Reynolds, Sean Casey, Al Leiter, and so forth), or they have been exposed to the nuances for a long enough time to figure things out - for the most part.
Really, there's only one guy over there who drives me crazy - the co-host of "Intentional Talk" - that arrogant, condescending, and not-too-bright jackass, Chris Rose. I hate him.
I don't hate anybody else; just him. His co-host is former major league player, Kevin Millar, who knows much more about baseball than Rose - actually, a six-year old kid typically knows more about baseball that Rose - yet Millar's opinions are frequently scoffed and ridiculed by that pompous ass on the other side of the screen; or, even in agreement, will state so grudgingly, as if his approval on any issue is necessary to make it valid. His annoying platitudes include:
"I get it." - He usually doesn't.
"I'm okay with that." - Big deal; his opinion is worthless.
"I'm not okay with that." - Usually means whatever he's "not okay with" is actually quite okay.
It's his penchant for being a complete jerk by trying to stir up controversy that really sets him apart from most impartial reporters. Before the World Series even began, Rose dredged up some obscure radio interview Cards right fielder Lance Berkman gave last January, on a Houston radio station, explaining why he chose to sign with St Louis - and not the Texas Rangers. As it turned out, Berkman would have to eat his words, but the matter was resolved around the All-Star break, making Rose look like an idiot for trying to stir up trouble to begin with.
His next target was Albert Pujols. After Game Two, Rose sarcastically noted that Pujols had failed to get any hits, going 0 for 6. Of course, in Game One, Albert was hit by a pitch and drew a base on balls, which resulted in a run scored for his team, but that didn't seem to register with that jerk. Also, in Game Two, Pujols absolutely crushed a ball to right center field on a cold night, which was caught at the wall. Ordinarily,. it's gone. Still, prior to Game Three, the implication was Albert was in the midst of a horrible hitting slump; that he was letting his team down; that he basically sucked.
Clearly, Rose didn't "get it", and I'm "not okay with that".
We all know what happened in Game Three - Pujols ties Babe Ruth and Reggie Jackson, by slamming three home runs - the only other players to accomplish that feat in a World Series game. He also tied Paul Molitor as the only players to get five hits in a single World Series game. Oh yeah; he also knocked in six runs and scored four times. Not a bad night, eh Chris? Do you get it?
After the thrilling outcome of Game Six - capped off by David Freese's incredible walk-off home run - Kevin Millar said it was the greatest game he'd ever witnessed - Chris Rose was also there, somehow covering the game for Fox - and his demeanor suggested he really didn't "get it", as he causally remarked, "Yeah, it was a good game" (or something to that effect). Yawn.
After the Cardinals completed their highly improbable Seven Game World Series triumph, Rose sneered at the notion that what the Redbirds had accomplished was in essence, a miracle. Like a dumb-ass, he comes up with this astute observation: "If you want to find a more unlikely champion, just turn the way-back machine to 2006, when the Cardinals only won 83 games, but still won the World Series." Sure, the 2011 Cards won 90 games, but they barely got into the post season - as a wild card - on the very last day of the season; and that was largely facilitated by Atlanta's total collapse as the season wound down. Consider this: The Cardinals trailed the Braves by three games with only five games to play. I don't know what the odds were for them to overcome that deficit with so few remaining games to be played - maybe 100 to 1?
Then, facing Philadelphia in the NLDS, after losing the first game, they were down in Game Two, four zip, with Cliff Lee pitching for Philly. Final score: Cards 5 - Phillies 4. What were the odds for that outcome, I wonder? 50 to 1? 25 to 1? After losing Game Three to Philadelphia, at home, they needed to win two games in a row against the team most experts figured was the best in baseball. They did it, with the Game Five pitching duel between Cards ace, Chris Carpenter and Philly super-ace Roy Halladay, going to the Redbirds, 1-0. Odds, anyone?
Facing elimination in Game Six of the World Series, the Cardinals trailed the Rangers by two runs on two separate occasions in that contest - when they were down to their last strike in both instances. Rallying from that deficit, not once, but twice - is unprecedented in post season play; let alone World Series play. Something like that may not happen again for another hundred years, or longer; way longer.
Chris Rose not only doesn't get it; he doesn't get it by a lot; and he's got to act like a complete jerk in the process; and that should annoy the hell out of any knowledgeable baseball fan who has to listen to this idiot spouting off on his stupid little show. As a final dig at Redbird hero Lance Berkman, Rose tries to rile up St Louis fans by pointing out a comment Lance made on a Houston radio program - something to the effect, "I only wish I'd won the World Series playing for the Astros; that would have been even more special."
Chris Rose's agenda is simple - trump up some controversy whenever possible, even when the issue being trumped up is inconsequential. He's a total weasel when he pulls stuff like this; he does it all the time, making him a despicable full-time weasel in my book.
Oh sure, I'll continue watching the MLB Network on a regular basis; after all, I love baseball. I may just have to hit the mute button from time to time, whenever Chris Rose opens up his pie-hole, telling everyone how much he gets it. He'll never get it.
On the other hand, when the Cardinals are playing well, and are in contention, I'll stay glued to MLB to savor my favorite team's success - although there are times certain analysts don't seem to give the Redbirds credit for being as good as they really are.
For the most part, I like those guys; most of them either played the game with a good degree of success for a long time (Larry Bowa, Harold Reynolds, Sean Casey, Al Leiter, and so forth), or they have been exposed to the nuances for a long enough time to figure things out - for the most part.
Really, there's only one guy over there who drives me crazy - the co-host of "Intentional Talk" - that arrogant, condescending, and not-too-bright jackass, Chris Rose. I hate him.
I don't hate anybody else; just him. His co-host is former major league player, Kevin Millar, who knows much more about baseball than Rose - actually, a six-year old kid typically knows more about baseball that Rose - yet Millar's opinions are frequently scoffed and ridiculed by that pompous ass on the other side of the screen; or, even in agreement, will state so grudgingly, as if his approval on any issue is necessary to make it valid. His annoying platitudes include:
"I get it." - He usually doesn't.
"I'm okay with that." - Big deal; his opinion is worthless.
"I'm not okay with that." - Usually means whatever he's "not okay with" is actually quite okay.
It's his penchant for being a complete jerk by trying to stir up controversy that really sets him apart from most impartial reporters. Before the World Series even began, Rose dredged up some obscure radio interview Cards right fielder Lance Berkman gave last January, on a Houston radio station, explaining why he chose to sign with St Louis - and not the Texas Rangers. As it turned out, Berkman would have to eat his words, but the matter was resolved around the All-Star break, making Rose look like an idiot for trying to stir up trouble to begin with.
His next target was Albert Pujols. After Game Two, Rose sarcastically noted that Pujols had failed to get any hits, going 0 for 6. Of course, in Game One, Albert was hit by a pitch and drew a base on balls, which resulted in a run scored for his team, but that didn't seem to register with that jerk. Also, in Game Two, Pujols absolutely crushed a ball to right center field on a cold night, which was caught at the wall. Ordinarily,. it's gone. Still, prior to Game Three, the implication was Albert was in the midst of a horrible hitting slump; that he was letting his team down; that he basically sucked.
Clearly, Rose didn't "get it", and I'm "not okay with that".
We all know what happened in Game Three - Pujols ties Babe Ruth and Reggie Jackson, by slamming three home runs - the only other players to accomplish that feat in a World Series game. He also tied Paul Molitor as the only players to get five hits in a single World Series game. Oh yeah; he also knocked in six runs and scored four times. Not a bad night, eh Chris? Do you get it?
After the thrilling outcome of Game Six - capped off by David Freese's incredible walk-off home run - Kevin Millar said it was the greatest game he'd ever witnessed - Chris Rose was also there, somehow covering the game for Fox - and his demeanor suggested he really didn't "get it", as he causally remarked, "Yeah, it was a good game" (or something to that effect). Yawn.
After the Cardinals completed their highly improbable Seven Game World Series triumph, Rose sneered at the notion that what the Redbirds had accomplished was in essence, a miracle. Like a dumb-ass, he comes up with this astute observation: "If you want to find a more unlikely champion, just turn the way-back machine to 2006, when the Cardinals only won 83 games, but still won the World Series." Sure, the 2011 Cards won 90 games, but they barely got into the post season - as a wild card - on the very last day of the season; and that was largely facilitated by Atlanta's total collapse as the season wound down. Consider this: The Cardinals trailed the Braves by three games with only five games to play. I don't know what the odds were for them to overcome that deficit with so few remaining games to be played - maybe 100 to 1?
Then, facing Philadelphia in the NLDS, after losing the first game, they were down in Game Two, four zip, with Cliff Lee pitching for Philly. Final score: Cards 5 - Phillies 4. What were the odds for that outcome, I wonder? 50 to 1? 25 to 1? After losing Game Three to Philadelphia, at home, they needed to win two games in a row against the team most experts figured was the best in baseball. They did it, with the Game Five pitching duel between Cards ace, Chris Carpenter and Philly super-ace Roy Halladay, going to the Redbirds, 1-0. Odds, anyone?
Facing elimination in Game Six of the World Series, the Cardinals trailed the Rangers by two runs on two separate occasions in that contest - when they were down to their last strike in both instances. Rallying from that deficit, not once, but twice - is unprecedented in post season play; let alone World Series play. Something like that may not happen again for another hundred years, or longer; way longer.
Chris Rose not only doesn't get it; he doesn't get it by a lot; and he's got to act like a complete jerk in the process; and that should annoy the hell out of any knowledgeable baseball fan who has to listen to this idiot spouting off on his stupid little show. As a final dig at Redbird hero Lance Berkman, Rose tries to rile up St Louis fans by pointing out a comment Lance made on a Houston radio program - something to the effect, "I only wish I'd won the World Series playing for the Astros; that would have been even more special."
Chris Rose's agenda is simple - trump up some controversy whenever possible, even when the issue being trumped up is inconsequential. He's a total weasel when he pulls stuff like this; he does it all the time, making him a despicable full-time weasel in my book.
Oh sure, I'll continue watching the MLB Network on a regular basis; after all, I love baseball. I may just have to hit the mute button from time to time, whenever Chris Rose opens up his pie-hole, telling everyone how much he gets it. He'll never get it.
Tuesday, January 18, 2011
Retirement was boring, anyway...
It's been a great decade. I "retired" on January 1, 2001 from my high-paying job with Enterprise Rent-a-Car, thinking I had enough money to stay retired. Ten years later, I've discovered that my financial planning wasn't so "well planned", and now that I don't have any "income", it's going to be nearly impossible to stay on the sidelines very much longer, and expect to continue buying all that crazy stuff - like food, for example.
Did you miss me, corporate America? Anyone looking for a smart guy like me to run their multi-billion dollar corporation for a nominal yearly fee? I'd be willing to settle for one tenth of what I was making with Enterprise...If that sounds like a bargain for my future employer, consider that I was raking in close to four million dollars a year when my past employer deciced enough was enough. Jerks.
It's one thing getting whacked when you suck at your job. It's another thing getting whacked when you're on top of your game; when you're outperforming 75% of the other general managers in the corporation...But that's what happened, folks. And due to a series of bad investments and bad economic occurances over the past ten years (I never quite recovered from 9/11), I find myself in need of another source of income, aside from the huge royalties that come from writing books. That last comment was totally sarcastic. If I had to survive from that occupation, I'd do just fine if I didn't have to buy anything at all; up to and including food.
Retirement was boring, anyway. Now all I have to do is find a job again, at my advanced age. No problemo. This could be the makings of another hilarious book. Of course, writing the thing would have to be done during my lunch hours, weekends, holidays, and whatever vacation time I can accrue with my new outfit. I'm sure I'll figure something out. In the meantime, feel free to buy my books; every little bit helps.
Life Under the Corporate Microscope - A Maverick's Irreverent Perspective http://bit.ly/b2pBY
St Louis Cardinals IQ - The Ultimate Test of True Fandom - Volume 1 (No link available, but you can find it on Amazon if you plug in the title)
Bye bye. See you in the office!
Did you miss me, corporate America? Anyone looking for a smart guy like me to run their multi-billion dollar corporation for a nominal yearly fee? I'd be willing to settle for one tenth of what I was making with Enterprise...If that sounds like a bargain for my future employer, consider that I was raking in close to four million dollars a year when my past employer deciced enough was enough. Jerks.
It's one thing getting whacked when you suck at your job. It's another thing getting whacked when you're on top of your game; when you're outperforming 75% of the other general managers in the corporation...But that's what happened, folks. And due to a series of bad investments and bad economic occurances over the past ten years (I never quite recovered from 9/11), I find myself in need of another source of income, aside from the huge royalties that come from writing books. That last comment was totally sarcastic. If I had to survive from that occupation, I'd do just fine if I didn't have to buy anything at all; up to and including food.
Retirement was boring, anyway. Now all I have to do is find a job again, at my advanced age. No problemo. This could be the makings of another hilarious book. Of course, writing the thing would have to be done during my lunch hours, weekends, holidays, and whatever vacation time I can accrue with my new outfit. I'm sure I'll figure something out. In the meantime, feel free to buy my books; every little bit helps.
Life Under the Corporate Microscope - A Maverick's Irreverent Perspective http://bit.ly/b2pBY
St Louis Cardinals IQ - The Ultimate Test of True Fandom - Volume 1 (No link available, but you can find it on Amazon if you plug in the title)
Bye bye. See you in the office!
Wednesday, August 4, 2010
"You Oughta Go"
Alanis Morissette was probably quite justified when she penned her little tirade against an old boyfriend in the hit song, "You Oughta Know". It became the anthem of pissed off women everywhere, giving hell to all those thoughtless cads for being such heartless jerks. I must admit, I like the song and sympathize with Alanis over her devastating breakup. I hope she's found a decent boyfriend since then; she deserves it.
I often wondered what the ex's rebuttal would sound like, and I'm surprised there hasn't been a parody to this song; maybe there has been and I just missed it. If not, here's my masterpiece for your listening pleasure. I call this one "You Oughta Go", because it rhymes with "know" and it gives a whole different perspective on things. Again, this is only a silly rebuttal, for entertainment purposes only. This is not based on any people or events, living or dead, so help me God. Any similarities to anyone in the world is strictly a coincidence; okay?
"You Oughta Go"
I want you to know, I'm happy for me, too
I wish nothing but the best for me, too
A kinder version of you
Not always bitching like you
And she likes to go to the theatre
She speaks rationally
At times we may disagree
But unlike you she's never threatened to kill me
'cause the love that I gave that we made wasn't able
To make it enough for me to not break up with you
And every time I speak her name
I'm glad it's her - not you - I'm talking to
I'd wanna die, wanna die
But I'm still alive
And I'm here to remind you
Of the mess you made when you wouldn't leave
It's not fair to deny me
A little peace of mind to set me free
You, you, you oughta go
I'm doing very well, free from Hell
You're not quite as well, so what else is new?
How could I forget about you Miss Coldhearted-Shrew
You always bug me in the middle of dinner
Now my potatoes are cold, this routine is so old
Why can't you call while I'm not eating?
'cause the love that I gave that we made wasn't able
To make it enough for me to not break up with you
And every time I speak her name
I'm glad it's her - not you - I'm talking to
I'd wanna die, wanna die
But I'm still alive
And I'm here to remind you
Of the mess you made when you wouldn't leave
It's not fair to deny me
A little peace of mind to set me free
You, you, you oughta go
'cause the joke that I laid on the bed that was you
And you are gonna fade
As soon as I close my eyes and I'm happy
And every time you scratch your nails down someone else's back
Of course I don't feel it...you must be crazy
Well I'm her to remind you
Of the mess you made when you wouldn't leave
It's not fair to deny me
A little peace of mind to set me free
You, you, you oughta go
TA-DA!
If you haven't already read my book, Life Under the Corporate Microscope, here's your chance. I guarantee there are no stupid song parodies; just honest and irreverent commentary on the state of affairs in Corporate America. Order on Amazon: http://bit.ly/b2pBY
If St Louis Cardinals baseball is your bag, you'll certainly want to read my latest book -St Louis Cardinals IQ - The Ultimate Test of True Fandom (Volume 1) - 250 fun-filled trivia questions to challenge even the most diehard fan, like YOU!
I often wondered what the ex's rebuttal would sound like, and I'm surprised there hasn't been a parody to this song; maybe there has been and I just missed it. If not, here's my masterpiece for your listening pleasure. I call this one "You Oughta Go", because it rhymes with "know" and it gives a whole different perspective on things. Again, this is only a silly rebuttal, for entertainment purposes only. This is not based on any people or events, living or dead, so help me God. Any similarities to anyone in the world is strictly a coincidence; okay?
"You Oughta Go"
I want you to know, I'm happy for me, too
I wish nothing but the best for me, too
A kinder version of you
Not always bitching like you
And she likes to go to the theatre
She speaks rationally
At times we may disagree
But unlike you she's never threatened to kill me
'cause the love that I gave that we made wasn't able
To make it enough for me to not break up with you
And every time I speak her name
I'm glad it's her - not you - I'm talking to
I'd wanna die, wanna die
But I'm still alive
And I'm here to remind you
Of the mess you made when you wouldn't leave
It's not fair to deny me
A little peace of mind to set me free
You, you, you oughta go
I'm doing very well, free from Hell
You're not quite as well, so what else is new?
How could I forget about you Miss Coldhearted-Shrew
You always bug me in the middle of dinner
Now my potatoes are cold, this routine is so old
Why can't you call while I'm not eating?
'cause the love that I gave that we made wasn't able
To make it enough for me to not break up with you
And every time I speak her name
I'm glad it's her - not you - I'm talking to
I'd wanna die, wanna die
But I'm still alive
And I'm here to remind you
Of the mess you made when you wouldn't leave
It's not fair to deny me
A little peace of mind to set me free
You, you, you oughta go
'cause the joke that I laid on the bed that was you
And you are gonna fade
As soon as I close my eyes and I'm happy
And every time you scratch your nails down someone else's back
Of course I don't feel it...you must be crazy
Well I'm her to remind you
Of the mess you made when you wouldn't leave
It's not fair to deny me
A little peace of mind to set me free
You, you, you oughta go
TA-DA!
If you haven't already read my book, Life Under the Corporate Microscope, here's your chance. I guarantee there are no stupid song parodies; just honest and irreverent commentary on the state of affairs in Corporate America. Order on Amazon: http://bit.ly/b2pBY
If St Louis Cardinals baseball is your bag, you'll certainly want to read my latest book -St Louis Cardinals IQ - The Ultimate Test of True Fandom (Volume 1) - 250 fun-filled trivia questions to challenge even the most diehard fan, like YOU!
Tuesday, June 29, 2010
2010 All-Star Game Predictions
Last year, I boldly (and erroneously) predicted the National League would prevail in baseball's legendary Mid-Summer Classic. After all, I reasoned, St Louis was hosting the game, as its great player, Albert Pujols would probably hit a home run every time he came to the plate. I mean, why wouldn't he?
Not quite. In fact, Albert's first inning error helped produce an unearned run for the American League, while his bat remained dormant throughout the game. Ironically, it was the other St Louis hero, Yadier Molina, who provided the early excitement for the St Louis fans, temporarily putting the senior curcuit on top with a run scoring single; or was it a double? Whatever it was, it wasn't enough to prevent the inevitable from happening.
The American League won again; and guess what? They're going to win again this year; and so on and so forth. That's just the way it is. I realize this now. I'm so much smarter now than I was a year ago.
The final score of this year's debacle will, of course, be 1-0. I figure the game should be over by the 13th inning or so. The run will, of course, be unearned. In fact, both teams will muster maybe two hits between them. Welcome to the New Year of the Pitcher: 2010. You thought 1968 was dominated by pitching? Ha! After this year's in the books, they'll probably lower the mound once again; this time, the hurlers will have to deliver their pitches from a small ravine; maybe three or four feet deep. Yeah, that sounds fair.
With that slight advantage, maybe next year the hitters will avoid being "no-hit" with the startling regularity we're seeing in 2010. Thank God, Jim Joyce blew that call at first base; a third perfect game would've made the whole feat seem so pedestrian.
Of course, there's an entire second half of pitching heroics to unfold. If Jamie Moyer throws a perfect game, don't be too surprised; after all, he's only a couple of years away from collecting social security. He could go on for another few seasons. After all, he's lefthanded. That always seems to help prolong the life of any pitcher; especially when hitters can't hit much of anything these days.
Think they miss their daily dose of steroids, kids?
Not quite. In fact, Albert's first inning error helped produce an unearned run for the American League, while his bat remained dormant throughout the game. Ironically, it was the other St Louis hero, Yadier Molina, who provided the early excitement for the St Louis fans, temporarily putting the senior curcuit on top with a run scoring single; or was it a double? Whatever it was, it wasn't enough to prevent the inevitable from happening.
The American League won again; and guess what? They're going to win again this year; and so on and so forth. That's just the way it is. I realize this now. I'm so much smarter now than I was a year ago.
The final score of this year's debacle will, of course, be 1-0. I figure the game should be over by the 13th inning or so. The run will, of course, be unearned. In fact, both teams will muster maybe two hits between them. Welcome to the New Year of the Pitcher: 2010. You thought 1968 was dominated by pitching? Ha! After this year's in the books, they'll probably lower the mound once again; this time, the hurlers will have to deliver their pitches from a small ravine; maybe three or four feet deep. Yeah, that sounds fair.
With that slight advantage, maybe next year the hitters will avoid being "no-hit" with the startling regularity we're seeing in 2010. Thank God, Jim Joyce blew that call at first base; a third perfect game would've made the whole feat seem so pedestrian.
Of course, there's an entire second half of pitching heroics to unfold. If Jamie Moyer throws a perfect game, don't be too surprised; after all, he's only a couple of years away from collecting social security. He could go on for another few seasons. After all, he's lefthanded. That always seems to help prolong the life of any pitcher; especially when hitters can't hit much of anything these days.
Think they miss their daily dose of steroids, kids?
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