Who Else Hates Chris Rose?

I'll admit it...When the Cardinals are having a lousy season, I can't stand watching anything on television that is going to remind me of that fact.  Usually, that means staying clear of the likes of ESPN - especially the MLB Network - after all, baseball is their only topic of discussion, and sooner or later, they're going to talk about how horrible the Cards are playing.  I don't need to hear it!

On the other hand, when the Cardinals are playing well, and are in contention, I'll stay glued to MLB to savor my favorite team's success - although there are times certain analysts don't seem to give the Redbirds credit for being as good as they really are.

For the most part, I like those guys; most of them either played the game with a good degree of success for a long time (Larry Bowa, Harold Reynolds, Sean Casey, Al Leiter, and so forth), or they have been exposed to the nuances for a long enough time to figure things out - for the most part.

Really, there's only one guy over there who drives me crazy - the co-host of "Intentional Talk" - that arrogant, condescending, and not-too-bright jackass, Chris Rose.  I hate him.

I don't hate anybody else; just him.  His co-host is former major league player, Kevin Millar, who knows much more about baseball than Rose - actually, a six-year old kid typically knows more about baseball that Rose - yet Millar's opinions are frequently scoffed and ridiculed by that pompous ass on the other side of the screen; or, even in agreement, will state so grudgingly, as if his approval on any issue is necessary to make it valid.  His annoying platitudes include:

"I get it." - He usually doesn't.

"I'm okay with that." - Big deal; his opinion is worthless.

"I'm not okay with that." - Usually means whatever he's "not okay with" is actually quite okay.

It's his penchant for being a complete jerk by trying to stir up controversy that really sets him apart from most impartial reporters.  Before the World Series even began, Rose dredged up some obscure radio interview Cards right fielder Lance Berkman gave last January, on a Houston radio station, explaining why he chose to sign with St Louis - and not the Texas Rangers.  As it turned out, Berkman would have to eat his words, but the matter was resolved around the All-Star break, making Rose look like an idiot for trying to stir up trouble to begin with.

His next target was Albert Pujols.  After Game Two, Rose sarcastically noted that Pujols had failed to get any hits, going 0 for 6.  Of course, in Game One, Albert was hit by a pitch and drew a base on balls, which resulted in a run scored for his team, but that didn't seem to register with that jerk.  Also, in Game Two, Pujols absolutely crushed a ball to right center field on a cold night, which was caught at the wall.  Ordinarily,. it's gone.  Still, prior to Game Three, the implication was Albert was in the midst of a horrible hitting slump; that he was letting his team down; that he basically sucked.

Clearly, Rose didn't "get it", and I'm "not okay with that".

We all know what happened in Game Three - Pujols ties Babe Ruth and Reggie Jackson, by slamming three home runs - the only other players to accomplish that feat in a World Series game.  He also tied Paul Molitor as the only players to get five hits in a single World Series game.  Oh yeah; he also knocked in six runs and scored four times.  Not a bad night, eh Chris?  Do you get it?

After the thrilling outcome of Game Six - capped off by David Freese's incredible walk-off home run - Kevin Millar said it was the greatest game he'd ever witnessed - Chris Rose was also there, somehow covering the game for Fox - and his demeanor suggested he really didn't "get it", as he causally remarked, "Yeah, it was a good game" (or something to that effect).  Yawn.

After the Cardinals completed their highly improbable Seven Game World Series triumph, Rose sneered at the notion that what the Redbirds had accomplished was in essence, a miracle.  Like a dumb-ass, he comes up with this astute observation:  "If you want to find a more unlikely champion, just turn the way-back machine to 2006, when the Cardinals only won 83 games, but still won the World Series."  Sure, the 2011 Cards won 90 games, but they barely got into the post season - as a wild card - on the very last day of the season; and that was largely facilitated by Atlanta's total collapse as the season wound down.  Consider this: The Cardinals trailed the Braves by three games with only five games to play.  I don't know what the odds were for them to overcome that deficit with so few remaining games to be played - maybe 100 to 1?

Then, facing Philadelphia in the NLDS, after losing the first game, they were down in Game Two, four zip, with Cliff Lee pitching for Philly.  Final score:  Cards 5 - Phillies 4.  What were the odds for that outcome, I wonder?  50 to 1?  25 to 1?  After losing Game Three to Philadelphia, at home, they needed to win two games in a row against the team most experts figured was the best in baseball.  They did it, with the Game Five pitching duel between Cards ace, Chris Carpenter and Philly super-ace Roy Halladay, going to the Redbirds, 1-0.  Odds, anyone?

Facing elimination in Game Six of the World Series, the Cardinals trailed the Rangers by two runs on two separate occasions in that contest - when they were down to their last strike in both instances.  Rallying from that deficit, not once, but twice - is unprecedented in post season play; let alone World Series play.  Something like that may not happen again for another hundred years, or longer; way longer.

Chris Rose not only doesn't get it; he doesn't get it by a lot; and he's got to act like a complete jerk in the process; and that should annoy the hell out of any knowledgeable baseball fan who has to listen to this idiot spouting off on his stupid little show.  As a final dig at Redbird hero Lance Berkman, Rose tries to rile up St Louis fans by pointing out a comment Lance made on a Houston radio program - something to the effect, "I only wish I'd won the World Series playing for the Astros; that would have been even more special."

Chris Rose's agenda is simple - trump up some controversy whenever possible, even when the issue being trumped up is inconsequential.  He's a total weasel when he pulls stuff like this; he does it all the time, making him a despicable full-time weasel in my book.

Oh sure, I'll continue watching the MLB Network on a regular basis; after all, I love baseball.  I may just have to hit the mute button from time to time, whenever Chris Rose opens up his pie-hole, telling everyone how much he gets it.  He'll never get it.

Retirement was boring, anyway...

It's been a great decade.  I "retired" on January 1, 2001 from my high-paying job with Enterprise Rent-a-Car, thinking I had enough money to stay retired.  Ten years later, I've discovered that my financial planning wasn't so "well planned", and now that I don't have any "income", it's going to be nearly impossible to stay on the sidelines very much longer, and expect to continue buying all that crazy stuff - like food, for example.

Did you miss me, corporate America?  Anyone looking for a smart guy like me to run their multi-billion dollar corporation for a nominal yearly fee?  I'd be willing to settle for one tenth of what I was making with Enterprise...If that sounds like a bargain for my future employer, consider that I was raking in close to four million dollars a year when my past employer deciced enough was enough.  Jerks.

It's one thing getting whacked when you suck at your job.  It's another thing getting whacked when you're on top of your game; when you're outperforming 75% of the other general managers in the corporation...But that's what happened, folks.  And due to a series of bad investments and bad economic occurances over the past ten years (I never quite recovered from 9/11), I find myself in need of another source of income, aside from the huge royalties that come from writing books.  That last comment was totally sarcastic.  If I had to survive from that occupation, I'd do just fine if I didn't have to buy anything at all; up to and including food.

Retirement was boring, anyway.  Now all I have to do is find a job again, at my advanced age.  No problemo.  This could be the makings of another hilarious book.  Of course, writing the thing would have to be done during my lunch hours, weekends, holidays, and whatever vacation time I can accrue with my new outfit.  I'm sure I'll figure something out.  In the meantime, feel free to buy my books; every little bit helps.

Life Under the Corporate Microscope - A Maverick's Irreverent Perspective  http://bit.ly/b2pBY

St Louis Cardinals IQ - The Ultimate Test of True Fandom - Volume 1  (No link available, but you can find it on Amazon if you plug in the title)

Bye bye.  See you in the office!

"You Oughta Go"

Alanis Morissette was probably quite justified when she penned her little tirade against an old boyfriend in the hit song, "You Oughta Know".  It became the anthem of pissed off women everywhere, giving hell to all those thoughtless cads for being such heartless jerks.  I must admit, I like the song and sympathize with Alanis over her devastating breakup.  I hope she's found a decent boyfriend since then; she deserves it.

I often wondered what the ex's rebuttal would sound like, and I'm surprised there hasn't been a parody to this song; maybe there has been and I just missed it.  If not, here's my masterpiece for your listening pleasure.  I call this one "You Oughta Go", because it rhymes with "know" and it gives a whole different perspective on things.  Again, this is only a silly rebuttal, for entertainment purposes only.  This is not based on any people or events, living or dead, so help me God.  Any similarities to anyone in the world is strictly a coincidence; okay?

"You Oughta Go"

I want you to know, I'm happy for me, too
I wish nothing but the best for me, too
A kinder version of you
Not always bitching like you
And she likes to go to the theatre
She speaks rationally
At times we may disagree
But unlike you she's never threatened to kill me

'cause the love that I gave that we made wasn't able
To make it enough for me to not break up with you
And every time I speak her name
I'm glad it's her - not you - I'm talking to
I'd wanna die, wanna die
But I'm still alive

And I'm here to remind you
Of the mess you made when you wouldn't leave
It's not fair to deny me
A little peace of mind to set me free
You, you, you oughta go

I'm doing very well, free from Hell
You're not quite as well, so what else is new?
How could I forget about you Miss Coldhearted-Shrew
You always bug me in the middle of dinner
Now my potatoes are cold, this routine is so old
Why can't you call while I'm not eating?

'cause the love that I gave that we made wasn't able
To make it enough for me to not break up with you
And every time I speak her name
I'm glad it's her - not you - I'm talking to
I'd wanna die, wanna die
But I'm still alive

And I'm here to remind you
Of the mess you made when you wouldn't leave
It's not fair to deny me
A little peace of mind to set me free
You, you, you oughta go

'cause the joke that I laid on the bed that was you
And you are gonna fade
As soon as I close my eyes and I'm happy
And every time you scratch your nails down someone else's back
Of course I don't feel it...you must be crazy

Well I'm her to remind you
Of the mess you made when you wouldn't leave
It's not fair to deny me
A little peace of mind to set me free
You, you, you oughta go

TA-DA!

If you haven't already read my book, Life Under the Corporate Microscope, here's your chance.  I guarantee there are no stupid song parodies; just honest and irreverent commentary on the state of affairs in Corporate America.  Order on Amazon:  http://bit.ly/b2pBY

If St Louis Cardinals baseball is your bag, you'll certainly want to read my latest book -St Louis Cardinals IQ - The Ultimate Test of True Fandom (Volume 1) - 250 fun-filled trivia questions to challenge even the most diehard fan, like YOU!

2010 All-Star Game Predictions

Last year, I boldly (and erroneously) predicted the National League would prevail in baseball's legendary Mid-Summer Classic.  After all, I reasoned, St Louis was hosting the game, as its great player, Albert Pujols would probably hit a home run every time he came to the plate.  I mean, why wouldn't he?

Not quite.  In fact, Albert's first inning error helped produce an unearned run for the American League, while his bat remained dormant throughout the game.  Ironically, it was the other St Louis hero, Yadier Molina, who provided the early excitement for the St Louis fans, temporarily putting the senior curcuit on top with a run scoring single; or was it a double?  Whatever it was, it wasn't enough to prevent the inevitable from happening.

The American League won again; and guess what?  They're going to win again this year; and so on and so forth.  That's just the way it is.  I realize this now.  I'm so much smarter now than I was a year ago.

The final score of this year's debacle will, of course,  be 1-0.  I figure the game should be over by the 13th inning or so.  The run will, of course, be unearned.  In fact, both teams will muster maybe two hits between them.  Welcome to the New Year of the Pitcher:  2010.  You thought 1968 was dominated by pitching?  Ha!  After this year's in the books, they'll probably lower the mound once again; this time, the hurlers will have to deliver their pitches from a small ravine; maybe three or four feet deep.  Yeah, that sounds fair.

With that slight advantage, maybe next year the hitters will avoid being "no-hit" with the startling regularity we're seeing in 2010.  Thank God, Jim Joyce blew that call at first base; a third perfect game would've made the whole feat seem so pedestrian.

Of course, there's an entire second half of pitching heroics to unfold.  If Jamie Moyer throws a perfect game, don't be too surprised; after all, he's only a couple of years away from collecting social security.  He could go on for another few seasons.  After all, he's lefthanded.  That always seems to help prolong the life of any pitcher; especially when hitters can't hit much of anything these days. 

Think they miss their daily dose of steroids, kids?

40 Terrific Business & Motivational Books

Over the years, I've read hundreds (maybe thousands?) of books related to the subjects of "business" and "motivation".  Most of the books I've read have been worthy efforst; some quite profound.  Rarely have I read a boring or mundane book about anything, simply because I could usually spot them shortly after the introduction; maybe slightly past "chapter one".  I don't count those brief forarys into mediocrity as having "read" those particular books.  I'd stop before I wasted any more of my precious time.  When you get to be my age, the last thing you want to do is waste any time on a futile activity, although one might argue that my attempt to play golf was a tremendous waste of time.  After all, I sucked at golf; now I stick to bowling.

Certainly, my golf skills were never better than slightly "above average", and I had many embarassing moments on the links, however, I rarely had a round of golf that I didn't enjoy.  Henceforth, my time spent hacking the ball from one side of the course to the other was time well-spent, simply because I had fun. 

Reading boring books isn't fun.

Now that I'm a big-time Amazon author and reviewer, I thought it would be nice to share with the world the 40 business & motivational books that I really think have the most value.  You won't be disappointed you perused these gems.  Naturally, mine's on there, for two reasons:  (1) I think it's great (2) I want you to buy it because I really believe you'll agree and I need the commission.  Yes, there were three reasons there, disguised as two. 

Big deal.  Where would we be as a society without shameless self-promotion?  Don't answer that.

Do read these books; you won't regret it.

http://www.amazon.com/My-Favorite-Business-amp-Motivational-Books/lm/R2Y1EK4PDF6ZLU/ref=cm_lm_byauthor_title_full

Arizona's Bad Rap (Again)

Ever since Barry Goldwater's landslide defeat against Lyndon Johnson in 1964, many Americans have viewed the state of Arizona as predominantly right wing, anything but progressive, and even racist.  After all, it was then governor Ev Meacham's ill-advised decision to not observe Martin Luther King Day in Arizona, back in the early '90s; setting off a tidal wave of national outrage. 

Rightfully so.  Frankly, I was embarassed to be an Arizonan.  By '93, the proposition was finally approved, and Arizona joined the rest of the nation in celebrating the legacy of Dr King.  Still, the lingering sentiment around the country was largely unfavorable, and more than a few people now labeled the state as "racist".

They still do.  This time, the criticism is unfounded; stemming from a law that was recently passed which is designed to cut back on illegal immigration in the state.  This is a real problem for those of us living here and our lawmakers finally took some decisive action to address the issue.  What people who oppose the law don't understand, is it simply mirrors the federal law; only now, it gives local law enforcement officials the ability to enforce it.

Opponents decry this measure, claiming it will lead to discrimination and "racial profiling".  Proponents point out that it will help rid the state of illegal immigrants who are increasing the rate of crime while glutting the already crowded workforce; costing legal residents some employment opportunities.  In other words, it would be good for the general well-being of the population, and help spur the state's economic growth.

Sounds good to me.  The vast majority of Arizonans agree; in fact, 70% think this law is fair.  Nationally, the consensus isn't so overwhelming, although a slight majority think the law is reasonable (51%).  The strong opposition comes from those who have a knee jerk reaction to anything that even comes close to broaching someone's "civil rights".  Some have even gone so far as to claim these measures are "gestapo-like", comparing it to Hitler's persecution of the Jews.

Please.  Asking someone to whip out their driver's license after they've been clocked at 90 heading up I-10, is a far cry from Auschwitz.  If they can't produce a valid AZ driver's license, don't you think it would be reasonable to assume they may be running around this country illegally?  Should they be allowed to stay?  Was it violating their civil rights to have asked for a bit of ID?

Yes.  No.  Hell no.

Personally, I had a close encounter with the illegal immigration issue a little over five years ago.  A car driven by a nice young lady with no form of identification, no insurance, and no comprehension of the English language, decided to make a U-turn just as the car I was driving was about to pass her.  In the split second that she made the fateful maneuver, I had just enough time to swerve sharply to my left to avoid killing her.  However, her car was whacked pretty good, and my entire right side was pulverized.  As I recall, the repairs came to ten grand or so.

Not sure what happened to the lady with no license.  The cops at the scene gave her a ticket for her violations, told me "She doesn't have insurance", and sent her on her merry way.  No problemo.  In the meantime, I've got to have State Farm cover this mess, since that's the only insurance available to cover it - mine.  Now, imagine that scenario being played out thousands of times a year.  Sure, it's illegal to drive a car with no insurance in the state of Arizona; but if you're here illegally to begin with...

See where this is going?  Illegal immigration is a real issue.  Arizona had the courage to deal with the issue head-on, because Washington, DC hasn't done much to help.  Now, maybe President Obama will push for a more comprehensive federal law that works.  He has already voiced his disapproval over it; now maybe, he'll come up with a reasonable alternative.  Or not.

In the meantime, Arizona's taking heat from the misguided poplace; this time from all around the world.  Even China is blasting it as a "violation of human rights".  China?  Violation of human rights?  Well, they're certainly a progressive country when it comes to human rights.  They haven't slaughtered more than a few hundred million citizens in their glorious history.  Not bad, China; not bad at all.

Yeah, but Arizona is the villain in this instance?  Sorry folks; not this time.

Piano Blues for Dummies

I have a pretty good ear for music and can generally play anything I hear, on the keyboard, right along with the performer.  I've jammed with the best of 'em; from Eric Clapton to BB King.  If I hear the blues, I can play it in the right key, every time; no exceptions.

What's the secret to being able to jam with any artist?  It's really quite simple; even dummies can do it (like me).  Now, I'll teach you; a very smart person.  I hope you have a piano or some sort of keyboard, so you can take advantage of your new found skill; if not, go out and buy one.  You can afford it; the economy's booming again?

Okay, so you're still short on cash.  Big deal; make the purchase, anyway.  A lifetime of playing the blues is worth the investment.  If you're fortunate enough to have already acquired that keyboard; when you still had money; congratulations.  You're one step closer to becoming a semi-professional musician.

For the purposes of this lesson, I'm only going to deal with the white keys on the piano; I'm not racist; I love the black keys, too; however, I don't want to throw out too much information here and confuse you.  I want to keep this simple, so even the dummies can figure it out.

As you know, there are seven white keys in every octave (and five black keys).  If you start out at middle C (the key just to the left of the two black keys), and work your way up the scale, you'll find D...E...F...G...A...B.  Then it starts all over again with C.  In case you were wondering what a DEFGAB is; I don't know, either.  I saw a comedy program on HBO a while back; something about "Def Comedy", but that has nothing to do with playing the blues.  Also, if you don't know what an octave is, ask someone to explain it to you.  Basically, it's the clump of keys on the piano that have seven white keys and five black keys!  Okay?

You may ask why I'm not starting in alphabetical order (A...B...C...D...E...F...G).  Good question.  The reason:  It's more confusing (for me) to find A on the piano.  It's over by the three black keys, to the left of C, so it's kind of hard to spot.  Okay?

Now, here's the deal.  Every blues song in the world has the same "key structure" - the same combination of notes that blend in perfectly; always.  There are five notes in every key that blend in.  That leaves seven that don't blend in.  If you hit one of those seven, you'll end up with something referred to as, "discord"; in other words, it sounds like Roseanne Arnold singing the National Anthem.  If you hit the other five notes, it sounds like you're a part of the band.  Congratulations.  When's your next gig?

Since learning seven different key structures in one blog may be difficult for someone with no musical background; relax.  I'm only going to cover the key of C today.  Can you dig it?  Who wants to play the blues in the key of C?  You do?  You're in luck.

Ideally, I'd have a diagram of the piano keys for you to refer to as I'm explaining this stuff to you; but I don't.  However, with the information I'm going to give, you'll be able to figure it out, sooner or later; especially if you get someone with a few piano lessons under their belt to help you; if need be.

Here are the FIVE NOTES IN THE KEY OF C:

C...D#...F...G...A#

Now go out and play Howlin' Wolf's "I Ain't Superstitious" (Track 2 THE LONDON HOWLIN' WOLF SESSIONS).  You'll love it.

The next lesson:  Blues piano in the key of D. 

In the meantime, practice the key of C, take two aspirin, and call me in the morning.

If you haven't already bought my book, Life Under the Corporate Microscope, here's your chance (It has nothing to do with playing the blues, but it's still highly entertaining).  Just head on over to Amazon and grab a few cases to give to friends and family.  It's a great entertainment value for the money.

http://bit.ly/b2pBY

I just completed another book, but it's still in the pre-publication phase; but look for it soon.  It's called St Louis Cardinals IQ:  The Ultimate Test of True Fandom (Volume 1)

From business to baseball to the blues; I do it all; sort of.