Wednesday, August 4, 2010

"You Oughta Go"

Alanis Morissette was probably quite justified when she penned her little tirade against an old boyfriend in the hit song, "You Oughta Know".  It became the anthem of pissed off women everywhere, giving hell to all those thoughtless cads for being such heartless jerks.  I must admit, I like the song and sympathize with Alanis over her devastating breakup.  I hope she's found a decent boyfriend since then; she deserves it.

I often wondered what the ex's rebuttal would sound like, and I'm surprised there hasn't been a parody to this song; maybe there has been and I just missed it.  If not, here's my masterpiece for your listening pleasure.  I call this one "You Oughta Go", because it rhymes with "know" and it gives a whole different perspective on things.  Again, this is only a silly rebuttal, for entertainment purposes only.  This is not based on any people or events, living or dead, so help me God.  Any similarities to anyone in the world is strictly a coincidence; okay?

"You Oughta Go"

I want you to know, I'm happy for me, too
I wish nothing but the best for me, too
A kinder version of you
Not always bitching like you
And she likes to go to the theatre
She speaks rationally
At times we may disagree
But unlike you she's never threatened to kill me

'cause the love that I gave that we made wasn't able
To make it enough for me to not break up with you
And every time I speak her name
I'm glad it's her - not you - I'm talking to
I'd wanna die, wanna die
But I'm still alive

And I'm here to remind you
Of the mess you made when you wouldn't leave
It's not fair to deny me
A little peace of mind to set me free
You, you, you oughta go

I'm doing very well, free from Hell
You're not quite as well, so what else is new?
How could I forget about you Miss Coldhearted-Shrew
You always bug me in the middle of dinner
Now my potatoes are cold, this routine is so old
Why can't you call while I'm not eating?

'cause the love that I gave that we made wasn't able
To make it enough for me to not break up with you
And every time I speak her name
I'm glad it's her - not you - I'm talking to
I'd wanna die, wanna die
But I'm still alive

And I'm here to remind you
Of the mess you made when you wouldn't leave
It's not fair to deny me
A little peace of mind to set me free
You, you, you oughta go

'cause the joke that I laid on the bed that was you
And you are gonna fade
As soon as I close my eyes and I'm happy
And every time you scratch your nails down someone else's back
Of course I don't feel it...you must be crazy

Well I'm her to remind you
Of the mess you made when you wouldn't leave
It's not fair to deny me
A little peace of mind to set me free
You, you, you oughta go

TA-DA!

If you haven't already read my book, Life Under the Corporate Microscope, here's your chance.  I guarantee there are no stupid song parodies; just honest and irreverent commentary on the state of affairs in Corporate America.  Order on Amazon:  http://bit.ly/b2pBY

If St Louis Cardinals baseball is your bag, you'll certainly want to read my latest book -St Louis Cardinals IQ - The Ultimate Test of True Fandom (Volume 1) - 250 fun-filled trivia questions to challenge even the most diehard fan, like YOU!

10 comments:

  1. What suggestion do you have if we have already read your first book and the St. Louis Cardinals are not our bag?

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  2. 在莫非定律中有項笨蛋定律:「一個組織中的笨蛋,恆大於等於三分之二。」............................................................

    ReplyDelete