Monday, December 26, 2011

Exclusive! Fake Interview with Hanley Ramirez

Contrary to popular belief,  Miami Marlins star Hanley Ramirez is not a self-absorbed, unmotivated, immature, prima donna.  In this exclusive fake interview, Hanley opens up about his desire to be a "team player" and make room for newly acquired free-agent Jose Reyes to take over at shortstop.

CR:  Your thoughts about the free-agent acquisition of Jose Reyes to play shortstop for the Marlins next season?

Hanley:  I think it's great.  Shortstop is a very demanding position and Jose has a proven track record of durability.  I think he's capable of playing at least 50 games before breaking down with another pulled hamstring.  Actually, I'll go out on a limb and say he might even play 60 games for us in 2012.

CR:  How do you feel about moving over to third base to make room for Jose at your former position - shortstop?

Hanley:  Hey, I'm looking forward to the challenge.  I'm a ballplayer; I'll play wherever the team needs me.  I'd be lying if I didn't say I'm excited about getting the chance to break some records at third base.  What is the record for most errors by a third baseman, anyway?

CR:  Do you think the Marlins can be competitive in the tough NL East next season?

Hanley:  Hey, we're looking forward to the challenge.  With any luck at all, we can finish ahead of the Mets in 2012. 

CR:  How long do you think it will take before the Marlins win another World Series?

Hanley:  Well, it's been over 100 years since the Cubs did it; right?  I think we can easily do it before the end of the millenium.

CR:  How would you describe your attitude right now?

Hanley:  I couldn't be happier.  I get paid to play baseball for a living.  That sure beats working 60 hours a week as some management trainee at Enterprise Rent-a-Car.  Give me a break!

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